#23 - July 7th 2007

Conservative Miracles…

I’ve been hesitating to write about this particular story because I know my own personal biases will really stand out. There are certain people I won’t even be able to send this entry to. Please try to read it with an open mind and know that I can only write how I feel about a particular situation and I am not necessarily telling you how to feel about it. Religion is always a touchy subject, and has been the root cause of so many problems across the globe. If you have any doubt about this, just read up on news in the Middle East. Here in Uganda religion is less of a contentious issue because almost everyone is religious. What I mean to say is that whereas in Canada people seem hesitant to talk about religion, here it is a part of almost every conversation. I failed to mention this earlier simply because my opinions on the matter will differ greatly from those who read these e-mails and I really don’t want to offend anybody or force my opinions down anyone’s throats.

Let me begin from the beginning. When I first arrived in Uganda I noticed “Praise Jesus” signs everywhere; on the back of taxis, in people’s shop windows, on clothes. Music playing in the shops was either 90’s pop or gospel. There are as many churches in Uganda as Starbucks in Seattle. It seems like everyone is either born-again, Pentecostal, Catholic, or Muslim. For the most part people respect everyone’s right to choose their own denomination. When I moved from the original place I was staying, up to Jjaja Gwen’s guest house (at the top of the hill Mengo Hospital is perched on), I moved in with a family from Victoria that is ultra-religious. They prayed before every meal, every sentence started with, “and Jesus said…” or “praise to God…” It was a little overwhelming. Unlike at home, where if you don’t attend church it is rare to hear about such things, religion was exploding in my ears twelve hours a day. Although I was baptized Catholic and converted to Baptist in high school, I have now made a personal decision to carry out any spiritual quests as an individual. I have lost a great deal of my faith in everything church-related; from their historical crusades and missionary exploits, to their current politics regarding human rights. To live in a house where most of the inhabitants believe in the opposite ideal is quite trying. Needless to say, I spent a lot of extra time at the boys’ house.

I have attended several churches here in Kampala, mostly accepting invitations from Ugandan friends. I am always amazed by the beauty and magnitude of these palaces. The services are always elaborate: the choir angelic, the sermon ear-splitting, the congregation overtly enthusiastic. Eddy took me to Miracle Center, a praise-the-Lord, dancing-in-the-aisles, trembling-on-the-ground type church where the animated pastor performs “miracles” on people who are able to donate an appropriate amount of money. I was aghast when not once but five times the pastor called for donations for this or that during the service. I surveyed the audience, mainly impoverished locals in their mismatched Sunday best, praying for salvation from their daily struggles, for a better job, for healing, for hope. I shuddered as women and men approached the alter, apparently suffering from HIV/AIDS, apparently healed after the pastor smacked them on the forehead and two men dressed in pure white suits caught them as they fell backward. Eddy whispered to me that his ulcers had been healed this very same way. I wondered how much that cost him. The first Sunday I attended, the pastor called on anyone who could afford to donate $1000 to come forward for a special prayer. Come forward they did. Seven of them. The second Sunday I attended the pastor announced the purchase of a brand new keyboard for the church, worth…$7000. What a coincidence. Sunday after Sunday the schemes continued. He preached about tithing, about material gain, about paying for prayer, about money, money, money. I felt more and more sick.

After some digging I discovered that the pastor is now one of the largest Ugandan landholders. That he and his wife drive Porsches. That they live in a mansion which, if the Queen is unsatisfied with her hotel, will be the second choice for her accommodation when she comes in November. I cringed to discover several of the boys attend this church. I got into the habit of leaving after the initial worship. The service beings with a half-hour performance by various local groups; large choirs, single acapella performances, break-dancers. You name it, they’ve got it. The sound system, paid for by ‘donations’, is out-of-this-world. I would pay to see this concert. I wouldn’t, however, pay a dime in the form of a ‘donation’ and will do my best to convince the boys to do the same. Its horrifying to think of the way this church, and many others, are exploiting these people.

All of that said, there is a lot of good work being done by churches all over Uganda. If not for many of this missionary-types, a lot of schools and hospitals would not be in existence. There is definitely a good to go along with the bad. I am continually torn though, because it seems like the negative is constantly outweighing the positive. Along with abusive churches, there are several other glaring problems. Overwhelmingly, Ugandan churches preach abstinence. It is quite obvious that teenagers and adults alike are having as much sex here as their counterparts do in Canada or anywhere in the West for that matter. You cannot stop it from happening in the West, nor can you stop it here. Therefore, it is my personal belief that you must also teach the fundamentals of birth control, protection, and family planning. Most churches condemn this, while the pregnancy rates and prevalence of HIV/AIDS continues to climb. Because of the country’s religious tilt, abortions are illegal. A lack of education causes most women to think birth control will rot their insides. Misinterpretation of the bible has allowed a great majority to believe men hold a higher importance and status than women, which also has many dire consequences. Instances of abuse and rape are commonplace. Women are expected to occupy servantile positions within the household. Oftentimes men have more than one wife, spreading disease and an overabundance of children across a resource-stricken country.

I find myself completely frustrated by a phenomena that in its essence is supposed to be about respecting a higher power, appreciating nature and humanity, and behaving in a responsible, loving manner. Religion has turned into a controlling, demanding, restrictive set of rules and practices no one can hope to abide by. Where it should unite it divides. Where it should heal it harms. Altruism is replaced by fraud and trickery. Generosity by greed. It teaches subjugation and submission instead of equality and empowerment.

My small trip allowed me to gain some perspective on issues surrounding my frustrations with religion and the church, but I was thrown right back into the fray upon my return. A few days after I arrived back from my trip, a group of people arrived from Dallas, Texas. Their church sponsors the African Hearts organization. From what I could deduce, three of the men were pastors and had come with their wives and three of their children (girls around my age). They all seemed friendly and anxious to meet me. I hung back and watched them interact with the boys and it appeared that they had genuine affection for them. They brought the boys new trumpets and drums. Their plan was to stay for a week, giving the boys lessons in jewelry-making and preaching to them about ‘relationships’ for two hours a day. The first day I watched as the women taught a couple of the boys how to make certain kinds of earrings and necklaces with supplies they had brought along. I was drawn away by the pastor’s booming voice coming from the living room. The pastor had gathered most of the boys, about thirty of them, ranging in age from eight to twenty. I was quickly stopped from entering, “this is only for boys, ma’am,” I was told in a thick Texan drawl. Okay then. I’ll listen secretly outside the door, no problem. Here’s what I heard:

“First, I should tell you its important to respect a girl. Your role is to be kind to her, protect her and provide for her….Only associate with other Christians, they are the light and the way of the Lord. If you have a girlfriend, she needs to be a Christian. If you do have a girlfriend there are only certain things you can do with her….So now boys, you know where its appropriate to touch a girl, right? Nope, not there. Nope, not there either. Lets just keep it above the neck. Yup, that’s the only place ya’ll should be venturing. Anything else leads to temptation. Its just like walking to the edge of the cliff; you’re much less likely to fall off the edge if you don’t go anywhere near it. And as for hugs (he gets one of the boys to stand up, I assume); keep a foot-length between you and just pat her back. If you get to close you might get excited and that would be wrong….What about kissing you ask? A peck on the cheek might be okay, but boys, you stay away from anything else. Certainly don’t get your tongue anywhere near that girl. You know what that can lead to. Lead us not into temptation, the Bible says. Now, does anyone have any questions? (One of the boys asks about condoms) Boys, condoms break, or fall off, they just aren’t safe. Best we just stick with abstinence. You treasure the gift God gave you and wait for marriage. Now, listen here, these girls are very manipulative, they might try to convince you that you should have sex with them. They might try to trick you. Girls these days are very aggressive, putting their hands all over you. But you just get the power of God in you and tell her no. I guarantee you that if you tell her to stop and you both pray, you won’t go any further. Now, girls are always very emotional and they will probably cry, but you just have to know that God is with you, He’ll get you through…”

At this point I had to stop listening. My jaw hurt from how hard I was clenching it. For starters, provide for and protect women? What about treating us as equals? What about working together in partnership, in compromise, equally providing for the family? What rock has this guy been living under? This is a bright, impressionable young generation of Ugandans he’s speaking to, a generation that is poised to change their country’s situation, to bring their country forward into a new era of equality, sustainability, and well-being. He’s preaching inequality, division, and dysfunctional relationships. He’s telling twenty-year-olds not to touch a girl below the neck. He’s telling eight-year-olds to provide for girls. Your damn right that’s going to make me emotional, in a fire-breathing-dragon sort of way.

Thankfully, the younger ones probably couldn’t decipher most of what he was saying due to the thick accent and the speed at which he was speaking. The older ones probably, hopefully, realized he was slightly out of touch with reality. I took it upon myself to sit down with a couple of them for a heart-to-heart, to see what they really thought of his talk. First of all, the boys belong to a wide variety of religions, not all are Christians. So right off the bat, they disregarded his advice about only befriending Christians. I was quite aware that many of them have girls who are friends, and some also have girlfriends. I told them that it is perfectly healthy to do certain things, and dangerous to do others. I warned them about the consequences of their actions, but versed them in precautionary measures ‘just in case’. I would rather they be equipped with all the information, and hope against hope that they make smart decisions, than betting on their restraint and having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy, or a positive HIV-test. I gave them some of my own anecdotal stories to show them that I relate to their various situations, and told them that I am always here for any advice they may need, no matter what the topic. Kimala, one of the boys I had spoken to, came up to me afterwards and said, “Nicole, as long as I live, I’ll never forget what you’ve said to us and I’m going to listen to every word you said. Thank-you, sister.” And I believed him.

The final straw occurred when one of the girls from Texas took me aside and inquired about my religious beliefs. What exactly did I believe in? What were my intentions for the boys? I could tell I’d thrown her when I explained I wasn’t attached to any specific church. “Oh really?” she exclaimed in her thick drawl, “well that’s just…hmmm, well, I’ll pray for you girl.” I explained how some of the churches’ beliefs went against my own. Unfortunately I think she misunderstood me, judging from her response; “I too have had great difficulties with the tough issues, but ya’ll know that things like abortion and lesbianism are sins and lead you straight to Hell. So I just trust my Bible and carry on.” I think the blank look on my face caused her to hesitate. “I just keep tellin’ the Muslims at my school that they need to find Jesus, and I tell my lesbian cousin in California that I pray she changes her ways.” At this point I was having to bite my lips in order not to blast her with a rebuttal more shocking than the first detonation of “shock and awe” her ultra-conservative government deployed on the Iraqi people. I’m sick of the unrealistic attitudes, I’m sick of the divisionary tactics, of the fear-mongering, the superiority complexes and the misinformation. People have lost sight of reality in their quest to be the best, to be the group that “got it right”. We’re all human. We were all created equally. I refuse to support anything or anyone that teaches anything different. I can only hope that these boys will be influenced only be those who feel the same, and will have the intelligence and insight to recognize those who don’t.

~Nicole