#38 – Sept 18th 2007

Zanzibar…

Other than the brief escape to Lake Bunyonyi and Ssese Island, my work with the African Heart boys has been non-stop. You’ve joined me on the journey as I met the boys, was accepted as their sister and friend, and began to help alleviate some of their difficulties. Most of the goals I have set for myself are near completion, perhaps a month’s work remains. As the date for my departure to Holland nears, November 16^th, I am anxious to tie up lose ends and ensure I leave the boys with sustainable projects and ample hope and confidence with which to complete them. I have already begun thinking about future visits, when I will return with fresh ideas, motivation, and drive.

As one can only expect would happen, I recently began to notice myself feeling run down and languid. Not unmotivated, only lacking the energy to complete with any feverish gusto the tasks I set out for myself. Several of my friends and family warned against burning out and being unable to rally the energy and enthusiasm these boys need so desperately. But burn out I did. This past week I found myself snappy and quick-tempered, two characteristics dangerous to harbour for any length of time in this city. My virtues of patience and humble approachfulness are what have allowed me to get on so well here, to make quick friends and keep them, to accept the inconveniences, the unfamiliar customs, the chaos, and, for the most part, enjoy every bit of it. As my tanks now run dry I notice differences in my perceptions. Things I found endearing now seem irritating, I am exasperated by things that once amused me. As is true in the case of any overworked parent, the children suffer as a result. Their fingers in my hair brings on a headache instead of a contented smile, instead of readily lending my ipod I claim its broken and keep it at home. I found myself sitting in the living room with the leaders instead of hanging out with the boys. As soon as I realized these changes in my behavior, and was told as much by the boys themselves, always so open and honest with me, I checked them immediately. But as anyone who has been working for too long without a break knows, the reserve tanks only last so long.

Not wanting to take some God-forsaken bus ride across the country again and spend more time in a state of fearful anxiety than relaxation, while also keeping in mind that my visa expires in one week, I determined that I must leave the country. I took an uncharacteristic leap of faith and booked a flight to the east coast of Tanzania, to the island of Zanzibar. My flight leaves on September 20^th. I will be spending two splendid weeks in the white sand with turquoise water lapping at my feet, the only noise will be palm trees rustling in the background.

Thankfully the flight, food, and accommodation are cheap, yet do not retract from the paradise-esque ambiance I will be experiencing. Time and time again I’ve heard that Zanzibar’s beaches are beyond anything conveyed on the front of a postcard or travel book. An interesting mix of Muslim custom and Swahili culture, I intend to soak up some knowledge along with the sun’s glorious rays. I will attempt to assuage some of my guilt for leaving the boys and spending precious money where it is so desperately needed elsewhere with the knowledge that I will come back to them reenergized and ready to give them 110% until the day I leave.

I am unsure whether the opportunity to write from the island will present itself. If it does not, expect the next journal entry to reach you after the first week of October has passed.

One other matter before I depart. I would like to thank you all, faithful readers, for your time, your thoughts, and your support. You add motivation to my journey, a richness to my experience. I look forward to writing to you as I pass my final weeks here in Uganda.

Until next time,

~Nicole